SuperStar245

Listen to TheSuicideSheep youtube channel. Cannot go wrong

Thanks bdon, Il try get my hands on those books :) I think you are right thats its going to be very much a grind both bankroll wise and mentally. Thanks everyone for your help :)

Thank you So_Nitty. I do spend a lot of time studying the game and figuring out what I can do to improve my game. By my own evaluation I think I may have a mental leak as much as anything. My A game does not always come out in lower stakes. Im not sure if its because I have a disregard for small amounts of money which would make sense when I'm playing weekly $2-$4 live games. It can be generally hard to stay patient. I admire those who can grind out long sessions without doing something suboptimal like playing smaller suited connectors in a 3/4 bet pot. This doesn't take away the fact that I do not feel like I can beat games on a consistent basis without changing something about myself whether thats strategically or mentally. Which is way I may need to take a break to get my shit sorted. 

bdon, I think its a little bit of both but as a lot of players say, losing is a stronger feeling than what winning is. I wrote this post after a bad session and was quite tilted. Now that I'm not on tilt I really think my thought process changes after a bad run. I start a session fresh and playing well, but if say i was to lose a couple heads up matches or make a bad call, my A game is pretty much out the window and I start looking for ways to win faster. Choosing bad spots to be aggressive etc. Patience is a huge mental game leak for me I think. But I know I am capable of playing quality poker, but damn I have some leaks. 

Aside from everything else, Im not entirely sure what the best way to build a bankroll from scratch is. I feel like just depositing $500 just to get off the ground but I am determined to not have to risk money I have worked for. Is there an optimal way to build a bankroll from scratch? Playing MTTs for a single big score is not ideal as I can't dedicate 6+ hours a day to playing poker. Any tips for starting out? Thank you

Thanks. It was a weird spot but I thought 4 betting with ace king would have been a poor play by him if thats what he had so i narrowed it down to pockets based on that. I also can't understand making the all in moves and 4 betting with anything less than queens. It was his all in that put me off. I can only assume he put me on what i had and thought I wouldnt be able to get away from it. Unfortunately I lost 3 times that session with queens to over pairs so that also made me think that im just running bad