Hello there fellow members!

Recently I have been working on eliminating my C-game mistakes so my range will tighten up and new mental space can be freed. Most off my problems I can understand and solve myself but this one has really been bothering me since I started playing poker.

Some background in case this will help. I have been playing proffesionally for over a year. I play live both PLO and NLHE at midstakes. I am an overall winner since I started playing. Keep track off all my results and ALOT off improvements have been made regarding my mental game. My focus right now is to make my current B-game to become my C-game by eliminating all my C-game leaks. I have also made very CLEAR goal list and WHY i want to achieve them and WHAT obstacles can come in between.

I would describe it as being mistake-tilt related but the problem is not the mistake itself which I can understand why it happens and also know that they are good for my overall game if I learn from them. No this problem is more related to the after-effects and that they affect my confidence or it affects my problem since it is allready quite low.

I have been using Jared Tendlers book on solving this issue by making the 5 point list on how to correct mental hand history.

1. ''Describe the problem'':
   -I dwell on a mistake or what I think is a mistake, you could also says I just refuse or cannot forgive myself. Thoughts on how or why I did this again? Will it ever go away and I am failure who wont reach any sucess in poker. The hardest part is trying to rest, my mind cannot let it go and even if I am totally exhausted its impossible to fall asleep.

2. ''Explain why it makes logical sence to think,feel or react that way'':
   -Low confidence is what goes to mind first, deep down I dont believe in my own ability to succeed. Every time a mistake is made I ask myself the question ''I am really good enough or have I just been lucky so far''?
   I can undertand that I am atleast a decent player based on my results and that I try to improve but deep down it's so hard to fully belive in myself. Logically that it is possible but my subconscious just refuses to accept myself and belive in me. One reason is that I have not reached any goals I set out for myself besides graduating from university but I am not that happy about it even. We could say that most goals I really wanted to reach have not been so far... Perhaps this had made me doubt in my own abilities.

3. ''Figure out how logic in step 2 is flawed'':
   -Well I have been playing professionaly for over a year and that SHOULD definently count for something. Perhaps I just dont appriciate myself and prefer to critize much more then say positive and good things. I usually ''beat my self more the focus on beating other players''...

4. Come up with a correction to the flawed logic'': HERE IS WHERE I AM STUCK SO FAR, THIS IS WHAT HAVE BEEN WRITTEN
   -My dwelling makes me spend energy on the wrong things, so instead off going forward I go backward.
   You hate yourself because you make mistakes but in reality mistakes brings you closer to your ultimate goal ''Formula for success is to double your rate off failure''.
   Perhaps I am just VERY afraid off making mistakes beacause off after effects and associations. My selective memory remembers my mistakes MUCH better then when I made a really good play and was rewarded for it. Perhaps I am really scared off eventually failing and this is the last thing I want to do since I have abandon enough goals allready. Somewhere enough is enough and you have to stand your ground?

As it comes to my confidence I dont know how to boost it, I have been trying to say positive things to myself in the mirror every day and it has helped some. But when the shit hits the fan I am back at hating myself and feel really crappy...

Well guys if u reached all here impressive! Give me some feedback or advice on how u managed to solve this issue if u had it. I really think that belif in yourself is what makes or breaks if you gonna reach your true potential. Because if you dont belive in yourself who then will? I feel like this is my biggest leak at the moment and it makes me doubt my game, dont follow my gut or simply not enjoying life. Sorry for spelling wrong or anything written that does not make sence you are free to ask :)