To who it may concern, 

Today marks the day in which I make my first poker post and hopefully it will point me toward the right and "winning" direction. I have always loved poker and dreamt of becoming a professional gambler. I don't know what it really was, but the allure of Vegas, flashing lights, wads of cash, and beautiful women seemed to tickle me pink. Anyways, I was introduced to poker through a friend and at that time, started playing for play chips on Zynga. No big deal, it was all fake. College comes around, and with it responsibility, but most importantly a bank account and my own debit card. You can probably guess what happened next. I began with a deposit on PokerStars and after playing quite a few $2.20 180-mans and obviously running good developed an ego that was through the roof. I dabbled across all stakes and various levels and even heads up, but after frequent withdrawals and frivolous spending depleted my bankroll. Soon enough, I was introduced to live poker from another fellow student on campus and began playing at his home game regularly. In retrospect, I never really knew what I was doing and today, I attribute any winnings that I had to good luck. I knew how to play ABC, but reading board textures and analyzing my opponents' ranges needed work. A couple years pass, and today I am still on the poker scene and try to take it much more seriously. I study the books and sometime lurk the forums, but why is it that I lack the patience to grind a proper bankroll? I've deposited $500 before onto Bovada and ran it up to $20,000 playing 6-max, but it seems that after every long break-even stretch or being outplayed by an opponent (heads up), it annoys me and I move up. I've busted my roll countless times and every single time that I feel that I'm not moving up (bankroll-wise) I play the highest stakes. 

Any thoughts? 

TL;DR: Everytime I breakeven/get outclassed/downswing after putting in long hours grinding, I move up to the highest stakes and gamble my entire roll? Please help.