I played terribly at first today...as if possessed by an evil spirit, an incredibly stupid and generous evil spirit who wanted to give all my chips to the other players at the table. Has anyone else ever had this experience where it's almost like an out of body phenomenon? I do my best to turn these moments into "learning opportunities." What I noticed today was that my impulsiveness, my entitlement tilt, my irrationality all seemed to stem from a common source of wanting control over things I cannot control. I am going to confess something here and I don't want this thread to be about this topic, but to make sense of what I am trying to say I need to provide some context. A little over three years ago I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Please, no pity. First, we all have our things. I spend my day pretty much the same way everyone else spends their day. (Except I have a license to be a little more indolent and play and study more poker, a hobby I picked up about four months ago to help me stay interested and active. It has been a godsend.) Second, I am doing a lousy job of dying, which is to say, I am doing really well. The chemo and the cancer have reached a Nash equilibrium for now. Third, I am so fortunate. We are not rich but we don't have to worry about money. I have health insurance. I have the best wife ever and the most amazing daughter. Anyway, back to the point. The first and most important lesson I learned from my diagnosis was that there are things out of our control which are not our fault and which we just have to accept and to which we need to adapt. Like cancer. Or more to the point in poker- luck. What I find when I tilt and play badly is that some part of me needs to feel I can somehow control luck. At some level it's magical thinking. At another level it's a kind of arrogance, lack of humility, an unwillingness to accept the facts. I'm beat. I'm dead in the water. I don't have the odds to make this call. Whatever. Accept it. Let it go. Move on. It's okay. It's not about me. It's the cards. The best we can do is play the hand we are dealt to the best of our ability.