this is a funny spot because you have a good drawing hand and can do nothing about it. x-c is bad because often enough you will have T high playing a 45bb pot ott. x-r is worse since on this Kxx, Axx boards his 3betting range hits pretty hard and you have almost zero fold equity on the spot and creates a unnecessary large pot. leading also is not that great since on this texture you will get spazzed a ton. 

specially against this bet sizing I am fine on folding, since x-c again ott even with the backdoor flush draw is not that great because since the majority of time we need to turn your hand into a bluff on the river but the spot has almost zero fold equity giving the size of the pot. 

Xc flop xc turns with spades. Opening or limping both fine as long as you balance your range 

i think bet turn should be the best line unless you think villain raises turn really aggressively.  Even if he calls a ton you're hand has good enuff implieds to keep it +EV.  If you think he calls a lot vs bets , but will play very passively vs a check, then checking is probably better than betting.  

if I chose to x-r this board I am certainly betting turn, since if he has KK he probably wont go that big considering card removal, so looks like more AK-AA to me and in this spot you can have two thirds of the possible sets and he usually have none. but I am pretty sure that you have almost zero fold equity. 

considering that he is more likely to have AK than KK there x-c twice on spades rundowns is not my favorite option since AK is a hand that is only good for two streets of value and he is checking back a lot otr, specially on spades-completed draws rivers. it bricks our implied odds even if we consider the action otf and thats why I am more comfortable x-f against this pot size bet than x-c or x-r. 

I would check call flop almost always. If I cr flop I'm most likely betting turn shoving river as a default vs most live villains. I like check calling flop and check raising non spade turns maybe 1/2 the time, check calling spade turns and check folding the rest of the time. Also, if I cr turn and we miss I'm most likely bombing river.  This is also assuming that this player isn't a super nit and has somewhat of a decent turn betting range. You said he's young/active so if he's stationy then maybe shutting down on the river is best if he's a hero.

I'm just folding pre. I think you're too optimistic on your ability to make a profit playing deep OOP with very weak hands. You're mostly increasing your variance and potential for big big mistakes postflop (simply by having too weak holdings too often, with the worse position). I'm sure it gives you a very active image that makes you get paid a lot, but my guess is that it doesn't compensate for the EV you lose in all those marginal / bad spots.

Anyway, as played: your opponent CB very big, he probably has a very strong range + might have noticed that you play back too much, therefore going for heavy value. The good thing with your hand is that you have a lot of implied odds + some cards you might be able to bluff (Q and 8, as JT can be a reasonalble holding for you... up to you to know if vilain will give you credit for that).

I think your FE for XR is dubious, and the problem is that you can't profitably keep barrelling nor check raising or check-calling turns. So you give up your equity on the turn because you played too aggro on the flop.

Therefore I'd just check/call and hope to hit. If my opponent checks the turn, I might consider bluffing the river.

All in all, my advice would be to work on your mental game, but I surely don't want to patronize or pretend I have all the answer, because I don't. I'm a learner, and the more I learn, the more I realize I can know WAY more. Feel free to MP.

raise of fold preflop, i don't see why a limp can be more ev+ than a raise, but hey tell me :)

on the turn, i think betting is better than x/folding; u have some nice equity, and he can fold some smiddle paires/pockets

"raise of fold preflop"

This is a live game, right? Limping from upfront with a hand you´d like to see multiway pot with big stack-to-pot-ratio seems perfectly fine to me.