Hey everyone.

I have as of recently experienced a lot of stress over poker, can't rly figure it out on my own so I'm asking for some help. My game is 6max NL, I started out the year very confident with high expectations. I did a decent ammount of off table work and felt like I was really aware what my stronger parts were of my game and also what my leaks were and what I should work on. Started out the year playing from $2/4 -> €5/10 and reg battle vs pretty much anyone, playing any 3 handed lineup etc. I had been taking shots for a long time at 10/20 with mixed results, but in february I found a heater and became a reg in those games. Started to battle there as well, rly felt like I could hold my guard vs a lot of the regs there.

So at some point in march I were just thinking one night by myself, I felt so confident in my game that I wanted to take it to the next level. I was going to add more sites so I would primarily focus on 5/10+ and add some 25/50 when opportunities arised (which I did with terrible results). At the time I just felt like I worked a shit ton the last year and I was finally ready. Somewhere along this way everything falls apart. I get completely killed in pretty much every game i play on every site in any lineup. I'm constantly bleeding money and can't seem to book winning sessions at all. I started to lose confidence and decreased my ammount off hours at the tables / off table work hours because i didnt feel like it was much fun. Went on like 40k downer (my biggest prior to this point was something like 20-25k ish). So i was officially losing for the year, 4 months in which felt horrible.

Went on vacation, had some fun and so on. Felt really motivated when I got back home, I realised I would have to drop down in stakes to rebuild my roll. Starting tables wasn't rly an option anymore, so as the end of april i started to bumhunt and only play extremely soft reg lineups and also at lower stakes than before. So I played a mix from 1/2 to 5/10 with some 10/20 shots if the games were good enough and i could get a good seat. This was like a month ago roughly, since then i've lost another 20k, my winrate however is like roughly 3bb/100 both in aiev and bb/100 during this period. When filtering for 4-6 players im winning for 9bb/100 during that sample so might have been doing too much reg wars after all (even though i def feel like im good enough to do that at like 2/4 and 3/6, and esp 1/2)

So i'm stuck somewhere around 60k and poker is litterally a nightmare. I still work a decent ammount on my game, been messing around with solvers both pre and postflop and I can't really found what mistakes i'm doing. Been taking some coaching sessions etc and try working some on my mental game (also coaching, but a lot of thinking/analyzing as well). I litterally have zero confidence left in my game. It kinda bothers my mood a lot in real life as well because every day pretty much ends up with me dropping a couple of ks. I seriously have no clue what I'm doing at the tables, I feel like i'm never going to win again. Which is kinda weird because when i look at stats / solvers and what not I still think a lot of the regs that are doing better than me in the same games play like shit. But i've been realistic and trying to look for spots where some of these guys play better than me, since some of them has so big leaks it's insane it just doesnt make sense they can survive. Haven't had much success doing that tbh.

Decided that i really wanted to keep playing the higher end of msnl and highstakes, so I started searching for someone to back me and coach me. Felt like i could use some less stress in my daily life even though i realised i would give up a lot of ev. I litterally had zero response from everyone i reached out to, not a single msg back. Which I felt was weird given i have huge winrates over big samples and know a lot of reputable people, i thought it would be really easy for me to get a deal. Instead i didn't even end up getting replies from anyone.

I've been talking with friends a lot about my situation and most of them are like "yeah it's variance, it sucks.. you will bounce back" "you are playing well, you shouldn't worry i still think you are a tough opponent blabla". But idk, it doesnt feel like anyone knows what i'm going through. I dont feel like im playing the same game anymore, poker used to be easy. Or even when it was hard i would just work harder and it would work out. With 40% of the year done, my year is officially fucked. I really felt like this year would be my big shot to make it. Instead i litterally wasted 5 months losing a bunch of money without not really getting any wiser. The sad thing is when i look at my graph, my swings aren't that big. It just feels like universe just doesn't want me to win. Any advice to make me find some passion for the game again would be highly appreciated. I'm not that stupid I think, I have good work ethic sometimes, I've worked a bunch on my mental game and I think my approach is decent to the game in general. There has to be a way, I just can't seem to find it.

Sorry for long rant. Someone might have went through similair periods at some point (or are doing it right now). Looking forward to get some replies or tips about finding the motivation again. Ideally I would bump this thread in the end of the year and finish off with a sick graph and play in some big games again. But the way there is long for sure if it's even possible.

This is my yearly graph for the year in bigs unfiltered, like in terms of buy-ins i'm not that far from all time high. Which is just absurd how you can lose this much money at these stakes but so few bbs. Basically entire year I've been running like shit at higher stakes and printing at like 200z and all these lower games which aren't even that much softer I would say. I feel like i would get genuinely happy if I could make it through this, it would litterally be so much as experience to prove to myself that I can make it through / non-fortunate times like these. I sometimes feel like dropping NL and switching to PLO is my only option. But I feel like i put in too much work to give up, also NL is a pretty damn fun game when you are winning :)

Take care everyone and gl with poker.