Sick story's good luck on your journey!

I think it all went wrong when I stopped being honest with myself and gave into sins. Funny how the ego lies to yourself to protect your mistakes and everything comes full circle. These lies really effect your poker game and decision making. Say you have a habit of lying, so you think everyone's lying, so on the felt you think he's lying so you become a calling station fish! lol. Always be honest with yourself and try to do the right thing.

I use to play 1k buy ins 10 years ago now i'm just a rakeback grinding fish at micro stakes. The game passed me by. I'm trying to be a winner again.

Br at $1140 including RB. You know not playing enough is one thing but over plalying so much 15 hours a day is counter productive also. Every decision matters. My mind is so numb right now. head hurts. eyes hurt because I'm on this cheap monitor. Need to do errands for tomorrow. I hope i make it!. Become a run it once twitch streamer! lol! 100+ RB!!

There was a lot of panic involved. Unfortunately I put myself in a must win situation. Every line/decision matters. Lots of doubt and fear during the downswing. Taking breaks every 2 hours helps a lot. Not sure if this is allowed but raketherake.com gives any of you an extra 20% for new accounts. Please pm me and use my referral code( is this allowed? lol). The RB comes out to like 60% on party for you aspiring players but the raketherake is for new accounts or docile accounts for a year. If you already have a party, you can sign for bwin etc. Obviously I'm going to be playing on RIO new site too when it comes out, just information to help any of you aspiring grinders.

I'm running above EV so I shouldn't get ahead of myself. Right now I have to play 7k hands a day roughly to meet my targets. The main thing is improving every line/decision and thought process. glgl. Inspiration is LinusLLoves's old threads lol. gl all.

BR = $1400 After rakeback

Highest point was $2400 after rakeback. Down money in spin and goes. Are they even profitable? Had a 40 buy in downswing yesterday. It was insane. I moved up a bit. Need to re-calibrate. Volume is good but experiencing burnout.

Hello and good luck, i am about to start a journal too so give it a look if you want.

1) By the way you speak it almost feels like you are coming from a place of "unhealthy entitlement " to achive your goals ( insane assumption i know but somehow i felt that), make sure you do things to relax and to take a deeper look into your mental game.

2) Breaks are indeed extremely usefull, the way i play now are many small sessions rather than staying still for hours, i will usually go for 70-100 minutes but sometimes even less depending on day routine, there is a sweet spot i guess but i am not that educated to that matter, the point i want to make is , too short of a session , too hard to hit flow, too big of a session too hard to maintain flow?

3) I do not see anything wrong with outside of technical aspect of the game talk, in fact i think that journals should have this kind of content, and Poker is a life mirror so, almost everything is rellevant. Better stick to one game and master it for now,or, the way i try new games is to make a day be dedicated to them, for example on Saturday i will play Spin&Go , and this being a routine thing and a rule will help a lot for not getting out of line, like stopping my cash games and playing more Spin&Go because i had a good session etc.

Hey Yoda thanks for the Feedback. Especially this is anonymous, I find it very useful. I think you are right about the "unhealthy entitlement". Basically I use to be a crusher who fell behind the curve, and lost my mental game and started becoming an addicted degen. I somehow feel I am owed to what I use to earn without putting in the work required to beat today's game. Today's game is an entirely different beast than 2008's game. I think you hit the nail on the head about entering that "flow" and being in it for too long and too short. I think my mental game is really weak, always has been. Tomorrow I start grinding again, took a break today. The play has definitely affected my relationship with my fiance for the worse. We have gotten into two disagreements since I started this grind. I feel I am a lot more short tempered and am using my short term earnings as justifications of neglecting her. I need to figure that one out. Also upcoming expenses...GL all I will follow your journal.

Really hurt right now. Busted Main BR but I earned $950 in rakeback.

Only problem is only $350 of that will be released this week and the rest next month. I guess just grind 10 NL for now.

I became aware of this journal today!
Sorry about your main BR loss.
But don't give up.

Could you share some hands so we can discuss them?

My Pokertracker trial expired, waiting for next cashout to purchase it.
I will share with you a current problem I have though. I cannot stop playing Spin and GO's. I am down 8k this year playing them which is a large amount for me. I think I feel I'm so stuck i'm trying to win it back and recover my losses. The smart thing to do would to just stop them completely but I can't seem to do it. Gambling...it's like playing slots...

You can exclude yourself from spin and goes? Let me check

Ah! i meant the party poker variation of it. Sit and go Jackpots.

Quick update. 2 years have passed, i got a job and went down 140k in poker. Same cycle with the spin and goes but replace it with 6card PLO and OFC.

I do ok in my main games but spew huge in these high variance games trying to run it up quick.

Have a small roll and quit my job during Covid. Need to focus.