Hey, I actually already have it. I should've precised that the kind of book I am looking for is not specific to poker.

Hey, I have already seen some major improvements in the past only by reading self-development books, so even though it could never be a bad idea to get helped by a professional, I think I can try this myself.

Taking advantage of the subject, I'll take a look at your recommendations, Bingo 123

Hey, as a student in philosophy I actually have the last two ones, and I read it regularly as I also find them really usefull for poker! Reading them recently, I found the Meditations really relieving concerning the fear of losing loved ones. Really good choice! :D

I also wanted to learn about Tao philosophy, didn't know which book to buy, thanks a lot man :)

Awesome mate! Indeed you can find a lot of good idea's in these books on how to think about fear.

As for your situation it can be hard finding the balance how to spend your time and I suggest to look deeply and pick the right balance that you are happy with.

Hey Samu, it makes my everyday life more difficult in a sense that I am constantly worrying about not spending time with the ones I love. I think this is an unhealthy way to see my relationships because it becomes more of a constraint. For example, I would feel extremely "guilty" to spend a whole year abroad without seeing them. It is becoming harder and harder to spend some time alone.

Yes, I do experience less stress when being with them. I actually talked about all of this to my dad yesterday, and it felt really relieving.

I have always been kind of a loner, pretty introvert, but I've always had a group of close friends. But they all left to different places this year for their studies, so I am quite alone. Now, I feel like my family is the only solid base of people I can rely on that I have left. That can explain why I put so much stress about them in my mind.

I am mainly talking about my parents as my dad is getting older and my mom has a few health issues. But who doesn't, after all? I think I am too anxious about a lot of things, I tend to "overthink" on useless thoughts, with the bad habit to focus even more on it when they are bad/sad thoughts.

I think the first steps to make would be to stop being shy and talk more to people, to build good relationships. I know that what I am doing by staying alone is not good for me and could lead to maybe a real depression. Also, get myself more into meditation/ maybe martial arts, maybe stoicism or eastern philosophy. :)

Interesting problem. Unfortunately I don't have much insight to offer because personally I've never experienced feelings like these. In fact, I almost feel like I should feel more of what you're describing, because what you're describing is very real and true in a way: you should spend time with the ones you love, so it's not a "bad problem" to have in a sense that the fear is not completely irrational.

What if you made a commitment to spending an X amount of time with people? Make a plan of some sort and stick with it. I would imagine that it could be useful in terms of managing the stress, because over time you can start trusting more on the fact that you're doing things that are necessary to keep up with your social needs. It seems like you're stress comes from believing that you're not doing enough in that area. Making a plan around resolving that issue might just be enough to let you trust your process again.

Things that you describe could also just be in part a form of growth pain. Friends moving to different areas, the relationship with family being different... I can relate to that stuff personally since I've experienced similar things quite recently. There's definitely something to be said about just feeling and accepting the growth pain associated with the changes in your environment and social life. Accepting the pain, giving up certain things and beliefs and letting new ones grow, growing up in general. That I think is the fundamental solution to the "problem".

Thanks for taking time to help :)

Yeah I definitely think that this is not the worst irrational fear, and there is a share of "normality" in it. I also think that your idea to establish myself a plan makes a lot of sense, even though it might seem strange for me to do so at first. (I mean, spending time with people we love should be something that goes without saying).

But I have the feeling that the root of the issue is the way in which I apprehend the future, and how I am struggling to control it, creating a vicious circle in which I am getting more and more anxious. That is why my first instinct is to go in the direction of eastern philosophy/meditation/etc, which are a good way to fix these mental imbalances.

I also think that there is a lot of truth in what you say about life changes that can put some additional stress. Maybe taking some time off and relax is also a good idea, accepting that things will not last forever and that those transition phases are inevitable, and that when some things are lost, we also have to take that as an opportunity to build new ones :)

finished this book today, I've started like 6 months ago. Helped with my mental life game. Any other rec?

After a few days meditating about this, I can definitely say that you are right on this. I wouldn't even confirm that it is my biggest fear.
Thanks for the advice man, I truly believe that some books/videos/experiences can be that life changing, I hope it will have the same effect on me.

Thanks a lot man! I've been working on that the last few months and I can feel it is getting better. Meditation helps a lot. I'll take any book one can recommend. Thanks a lot! :)