I'm starting to realize how much variance affects results. 200k of break even although i am currently on a 35bi downswing so I was doing ok prior to that. I guess 200k hands is still a small sample. The mental strength needed to deal with variance really is huge. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for it, I've been punished over and over again for doing the right thing and it's affecting my mental health. Going to take a break and re-evaluate. Really is scary how badly things can go. Even at stakes where you might have a considerable edge. For all the hundreds of thousands of players trying to make it at poker statistically there will always be outliers (1000s of them) who might be winning players but just haven't run as well so never got to realize their potential. Maybe I'm one of them, who knows, there is always so much doubt involved in trying to gauge your own talent. Anyways just thought I'd try and put my thoughts into words because i'm struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Goodluck people hope you run better than I did.